Odds and ends

My favorite Google Adsense ad for today:

Traveling to Iraq soon?
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Still thinking of a caption for the below pic. Possibilities so far:
1. Tourist photo op: Daily life in Pakistan.
2. Mathematically challenged.
3. "Move that one box a little bit more forward, Hammie."
4. Where the fuck's PETA when you really need them?

Three letters to Mr. Putin

(I will not tell where I stole these from. But rest assured they were plagiarized in an honest manner.)

Letter #1 from George Bush (who owes me big time):

Dear Vlad:

Beijing is weird. First of all, you can't breathe the air. Second, how 'bout those drummers? Whoa! MIL-I-TAR-Y PRE-CI-SION!

Hey, which reminds me. What's up with Georgia? This is not good, Vlad. If you don't stop, I'm going to have to do something, and you know I don't like doing things, right? What I want is for you to not make me look like a fool.

Here's the deal, Vlad.  I love ya man. But you gotta stop this. If you don't call a cease-fire and leave those Georgians alone, I'm going to have to whomp you upside the head. Just kiddin'. But you know how this looks. Invading a sovereign neighboring state is unacceptable in the 21st century - blah blah blah - and you're hurting Russia's image in the world.

Whatever.

Hey, gotta split. It's Kobe time. Take care and give my love to that cute little gymnast of yours.

Ciao amigo,

Bushy

P.S. Did you catch the American women's beach volleyball team?

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Second letter, from Sen. Barack Obama:

Dear (Former) President Putin:

I'm sorry to be writing this e-mail instead of meeting you in person, preferably in the Oval Office, where I belong. Soon, soon.

Nevertheless, and notwithstanding the foregoing, I felt it imperative that I express my deep concern about Russia's invasion of the tiny, democratically elected sovereign nation of Georgia. It would appear that you are not familiar with my platform for change and hope. War does not fit into this template and I am quite frankly at a loss for words to express my deep, deep distress.

As the chosen leader of a new generation of Americans who speak a global language of peace, hope, harmony and change, this is simply unacceptable. Quite frankly, your actions pose potentially severe, long-term consequences. I'm not sure what those might be, but they won't be nice or fun.

Please picture me looking very serious when I say that I respectfully request you to calm down. Life is but a flicker in time and we're but actors strutting and fretting. That is to say, we're all on this planetary journey together and our karma is interrelated and interdependent. Thus, it would seem that our differences are best resolved through words, not bombs.

It is said that war is a failure of diplomacy. I would submit that it is also counterintuitive. If my Kenyan father and my Kansan mother and my multinational upbringing taught me anything, it is that we are all One. That said, I am the One the world has been waiting for - and you are, quite frankly, blocking my chi.

As soon as possible, I'd like to sit down and begin talking about how we can resolve these and other differences that threaten peace-loving people, which I'm sure includes you. I haven't looked into your eyes and would never presume to know your soul, but I do know that we share a common humanity and that we can all just get along.

Yours in Global Harmony

Acting President Barack Obama

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Third letter. From Senator John McCain:

Hey, Putin.

Don't make me come over there.

McCain.

McCain: "Who knew there was an internet?"

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) tries to hide his face in shame as he is informed of the existance of the internet, and that he could have been using it all along to get his message out to the people.

As the senator logged on to the internet for the first time, the room was filled with reporters, anxious to record the historic moment. With the help of his wife Cindy, McCain soon opened a browser and watched as she typed in an address. He seemed genuinely taken aback as images began to appear on the screen as if by magic.

The senator was a fast learner, however, and before long he had visited Amazon.com, and had even posted a question on Yahoo! dot com: "Can someone finally explain to me the difference between Sunnis and Shites?"

McCain then told the reporters that Americans should not be concerned that he was not in tune with mainstream America, and that he wanted to reasure them he was up-to-date on the latest technology, in spite of simply never having heard of the internet.

"That aside, I am really a very hip cat", the Senator said, pausing to cough up what appeared to be a large piece of boiled cabbage, "for example, tomorrow morning I intend to do my morning walk wearing my brand new Walkman Radio."

Reporters merely looked at each other nervously. There were no questions. Cindy had disappeared.

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This just in: Obama now leads McCain in frequent flyer miles; next trip to Iraq will be free, aides say.

This may well be the most important thing you read all year!

Do you know in what way anointed President Obama and Wannabe John McCain are the same? —

BUTT VERY DIFFERENT ON THE ONE ISSUE THAT REALLY MATTERS?

Answer: They are the same because they've BOTH smoked Marlboro cigarettes!

That means they BOTH deserve your vote equally!

That much is obvious...

Here is the deciding factor — John McCain smoked Marlboro LIGHTS! Yes! A fucking WIMP!

If you were undecided yesterday, NOW YOU KNOW WHO THE BEST MAN REALLY IS!

Vote Obama in November!

The choice is clear!

Should the leader of the Free World smoke a sissy light cigarette? McCain made his bed years ago —

NOW LET HIM LIE IN IT!

C'mon C'mon, let's all get happy!

Would someone please tell these people they are about to get a promotion? This is not a sad thing, folks? C'mon! Let me see those pearly whites! Tickle tickle tickle!

Being leader of the Free World not doing if for you Barry? JUST WHAT THE FUCK WOULD CHEER YOU UP, THEN?!!!!????

What the fuck, Google???

Google AdSense is supposed to serve up ads which are in context with the subject of the blog post, right?

All of us here at WayHarsh are great fans of Reverend Al, seeing as how he provides us with so many delicious posts, and this shit hardly seems fair. The above photo was lifted directly off a nameless blog who was running Google AdSense (and not making a fucking penny any more than the rest of us, probably) and just look at what Google comes up with for ads. Bullshit.

Is this really the best Google could come up with? You'd think Rev. Al would deserve at least some more respect than this! It doesn't take much imagination to come up with a couple of more suitable advertising choices that Google could have run for Rev. Al. There are a lot of products to choose from, actually. Can you think of any more?

Reverend Al may be many things, but, holy shit! the poor guy is not a sex offender! Give us a break, Google!

[Note: the picture at the top of this post is not "doctored" - Google AdSense really was serving those exact ads when we stumbled across that blog.]