Friday, December 26, 2008

Obama loses his shirt

Stock markets continue their plunge. President-Elect not immune.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Vast left-wing conspiracy?

Fact: George W. Bush is the first right-handed president since Jimmy Carter.

This may not have occurred to you, but these are the sort of things you depend on this blogger to point out to you.

Reagan? Left-handed. Although he was forced to learn to write with his right hand. George the first? A lefty. Clinton? Faaaar left. Obama? Extremely left-handed.

What if McCain had won? Wouldn't have mattered, he is left-handed as well.

10% of the population is left-handed. 18% of all U.S. Presidents have been left-handed.

Don't tell me I'm not onto something here.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Young Love

They say for every boy and girl
There's just one love in this whole world
And I-I-I-I know-ow I've found mine.
The heavenly touch of your embrace
Tells me no one could take your place
Ev-ev-ev-ev-ever in my heart.

Young love, first love,
Fillllllled with true devotion.
Young love, our love,
We share with deeeeeep. Emotion.

Just one kiss from your sweet lips
Will tell me that your love is real,
And I-I-I can feee-el that it's true.
We will vow to one another
There will never be another ::suppress laughter here::
Love-uv-uv for you-oo... or for me.

Young love, first love,
Fillllllled with true devotion.
Young love, our love,
We share with deeeeeep. Emotion.

Dum. Deedum. Deedum. Deedum..... ::fade out::

Friday, December 12, 2008

Another Senator Kennedy

Caroline Kennedy wants to be appointed by New York's governor to fill the senate seat soon to be vacated by new Secretary of State Hillary Clingon Clinton.

Mindful of the current selling of her idol Barack Obama's Illinois senate seat, she asked the New York governer, when she called him, to pretend she wasn't interested.

This blog would like to add its endorsement to the selection of JFK and Jackie's surviving offspring for the office. We feel her qualifications to be a U.S. Senator are far superior to anything the Democrats would normally require, to wit:

1. Her name is Kennedy.
2. She has sat on the board of the JFK Library.
3. She has presented the library's "Profiles in Courage" award.
4. Her name is Kennedy.
5. She spent the last year playing a crucial role* in Barack Obama's election campaign.
6. She has provided personal care** for Uncle Teddy during his recent illness.
7. Her name is Kennedy.
8. Her cousin, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has said she would be an ideal candidate.
9. She is a trained attorney who doesn't practice law.
10. Her name is Kennedy.
11. She has "dabbled in legal scholarship and New York civic life"*** while raising three children with her husband and a staff of nannies.
12. She reportedly knows the words to "Camelot" by heart.
13. Her name is Kennedy.
14. She is honorary chairwoman of the American Ballet Theatre.
15.  She has held a $1-per-year job within the New York City Department of Education, raising money for a private charity that supported public schools.****
16. Her name is Kennedy.
17. She has compared Obama to her father.*****
18. She has stood side-by-side with Oprah Winfrey in Los Angeles.
19. Her name is...

Well, by now you should be able to see what her real qualification is. Anybody want to bet on who the governor will appoint as New York's replacement senator?

*Caroline was told by her Uncle Teddy to endorse Obama last winter.
**Wiping drool and froth from his mouth.
***Whatever the fuck that means.
****But quit the job in the second year when she was told by family members that, "$1 a year isn't really that much money, Missy."
*****Yeah. Like she remembers her father.