Thursday, October 30, 2008

American Guy Fawkes Day

As many of you know, if you have been following the American presidential election, "...the first Tuesday after the first monday in November" is the American Guy Fawkes Day. We celebrate it one day before the British and others do this year.

It will be a little different, of course. The destroyer of the American system of government, as we have come to know it, will be toasted instead of pilloried, and inaugural balls and general ass-kissing will replace bonfires.

Barack Obama is a likable - albeit extremely naive and economically uninformed* - sort of guy: a rather odd combination of Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, and Vladimir Lenin. He's just what the doctor ordered to put America's house in order, according to the outside world and (of course) the legions of blindly unthinking zombie-like leftist Dems.

These people are compassionate, they want to improve the plight of the poor and "underprivileged." Admirable. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to help one's fellow man (or fellow American, as it were.) The answer? Isn't it obvious? So simple - take the money from people who have it and give it to people who DON'T have it.

Change. Oh, my, yes, there will be change.

Is the world now ready for the new American socialist state, patterned after the failed Russian system we all knew and loved? The new massive redistribution of wealth, unseen since 1917, sprouting like an unholy Phoenix from the ashes of LBJ's Great Society?

Change. Oh, my, yes, get ready for change, world. You win.

Gone, finally will be the rich elite who get all the tax breaks. No more rich. To paraphrase Lenin, "The new order has no need for capitalists." No more rich elite. The bastards who worked their asses off to build businesses and wealth. The bastards who create jobs and pay people's salaries. No need for them. Tax them into poverty. Tax them out of business. Let the government run things. Let the government provide the jobs.

Barack Obama: "Let's spread the wealth around."

Sure. Take it from the ones who earned it and spread it on the non-producers. Encourage the opposite of the American Dream. That's the ticket. Karl Marx would be proud. And soon (do you hear the angels singing, here?) the world can love America again.

You win, world. Get ready for the biggest failed welfare state the planet has ever seen. You think you have economic woes now? You ain't seen nothin' yet.

*Anyone who thinks it is possible to make lasting social improvements by taking rewards from visionary asset-producers and giving a huge portion of those rewards instead to poor people or, worse, to total non-producers, is economically uninformed, by definition. They would do well to study the lessons of the late Soviet Union, and compare the current economies of North Korea and South Korea.

Socialism doesn't work. When are we going to get that? Some is needed: pure capitalism is cruel and cold. But the correct recipe calls for a teaspoonful, not a gallon.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Our recommendation for president

After careful analysis of the two candidates, we have arrived at our recommendation for your voting consideration. We strongly urge you follow our endorsement. Thank you.

Actually, for those 3 of you who actually read this blog, we gave our recommendation 'way back at the end of July. Our recommendation has not changed.

Please - just don't. If you do, it only encourages the bastards.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

It's all over but the shouting!

The fat lady is singing! It's in the bag for Obama!

The polls show his lead widening. The news media have called it. The good news that Whoopie and her View crew have been proclaiming for months is all but official: Hail to the chief!

Finally, real change is in store for America. Isn't it just about time? Hallelujah! I can't wait! The long national nightmare is over!  Happy days are here again!

No need for the good guys to threaten to run off to Canada.

The changes will probably be obvious only minutes after the One takes office. Thank you God.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

For Redbeard and Richard: Zombies explained

I stole this from Petra who stole it from god knows who. I thought I had already posted this theft.  You simply must watch this clip.

Did I post it already? Sure seems familiar. Too much trouble to look in the archives. Watch it again, please.

Redbeard and Richard. Visit at your own risk.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Henry The Traveling Condom says...

I found these words on another blog in my travels a week or so ago, but can't remember where. Have seen them a couple places since, so I guess I am not the only one who is stealing them.

"The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed."

No charge for comments today, but you must be nice to me.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A new generation

This one is not Palestinian, but Israeli. I am not posting this to condemn, because I don't know enough about it and I don't live over there. But I am sad nonetheless.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Comparing Dicks

Why do the ego-driven leaders of big countries always feel the need to constantly compare dicks? Bush looks to be on the short end again.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Obama: Biden replaced with "someone more intelligent"

In a rather unusual turn of events, Presidential Annointed One Barrack Obama replaced running mate Little Joey Biden today with Uncle Fester.

The move was not totally unexpected, however, given Senator Biden's recent remarks telling California voters they could just "shove their support up their ass", and,"I ask you, who the hell needs California? Or New York for that matter? Fuck 'em all." The statement was made during the nationally televised VP debate Thursday night. The gaffe came after the VP debate moderator asked Biden to respond to the statement from a San Diego child that "Biden's hair looks funny."

Biden later attempted to retract his statement, saying at first that he was "only joking, for Christ's sake," and then later asserting that he had really meant to say Wyoming and South Dakota. Apparently Mr. Obama wasn't buying either story. Biden's debate opponent, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, simply shrugged her shoulders and offered, "What are you going to do? Biden is a cretin. Everyone knows that."

Uncle Fester, laid up with a broken leg from a recent meth lab explosion, was unavailable for comment at press time.