News Flash! Just Out! Obama's skin color may cost him some white votes! Read all about it!

The results of a new poll have just been released. It was conducted by Yahoo! and AP, so you know it must be true. Also, Stanford University was in on it too, although the pollsters don't make it clear how. Perhaps students were put on the phones in return for promises of pizza.

But the main thing is the shocking results of this poll! ----------------

This poll clearly shows that some white peoples' votes WILL BE AFFECTED BECAUSE OBAMA IS BLACK!!!!!

Oh, Christ! It's even worse than that! The poll also shows that SOME WHITES HARBOR NEGATIVE VIEWS TOWARDS ALL BLACKS!!!!!

Can this possibly be true? JESUS JOSEPH AND MARY!!!!! Who would have suspected this??

Thank God for polls and pollsters! Holy horseradish, but this was money well-spent! WHO FUCKING KNEW????

Doesn't this give you pause? Doesn't it start you to thinking? I mean, what if a similar poll were taken of black Americans? Yeah! What if? Is it possible such a poll might indicate a tiny percentage of blacks are not in love with whites, either? The mere concept boggles the mind. Best not think of that until tomorrow, Scarlett.

According to the Yahoo! article that ran the poll today, "The pollsters set out to determine why Obama is locked in a close race with McCain even as the political landscape seems to favor Democrats." [Or at least it seems to favor Democrats if you are a Democrat, I suppose.]

"There are a lot fewer bigots than there were 50 years ago, but that doesn't mean there's only a few bigots," said Stanford political scientist Paul Sniderman who helped analyze the exhaustive survey.

Ummm...are you SURE there are a lot fewer bigots than there were 50 years ago, Pauly? Did you take a survey on that? That's another issue that the black community in America might be able to shed some light on for you, dude. Should your white polling ass care to venture into their neighborhoods and knock on their doors.

But McCain has his own problems, right? I mean, other than only 3 blacks are going to vote for him, and even those will be ballot mistakes.

For example:

1. He is politically tied to a moron, the current inhabitant of the White House, who still can't find the bathroom there without directions from the Secret Service.

2. He is older than fucking spaghetti. And some rocks.

3. He is apparently halfway honest. Not a good trait in a politician.

BUT.

As Americans, both black and white, are fond of saying: "What the fuck?"

For most of us, the election is, after all, only a temporary diversion from Washington's business as usual. Which will continue uninterrupted on January 21st. It's sort of like going out and having fun on the weekend. In the back of your mind, you know Monday is gonna be coming around very soon.

Go for it, baby.