Obama loses his shirt

Stock markets continue their plunge. President-Elect not immune.

Vast left-wing conspiracy?

Fact: George W. Bush is the first right-handed president since Jimmy Carter.

This may not have occurred to you, but these are the sort of things you depend on this blogger to point out to you.

Reagan? Left-handed. Although he was forced to learn to write with his right hand. George the first? A lefty. Clinton? Faaaar left. Obama? Extremely left-handed.

What if McCain had won? Wouldn't have mattered, he is left-handed as well.

10% of the population is left-handed. 18% of all U.S. Presidents have been left-handed.

Don't tell me I'm not onto something here.

Young Love

They say for every boy and girl
There's just one love in this whole world
And I-I-I-I know-ow I've found mine.
The heavenly touch of your embrace
Tells me no one could take your place
Ev-ev-ev-ev-ever in my heart.

Young love, first love,
Fillllllled with true devotion.
Young love, our love,
We share with deeeeeep. Emotion.

Just one kiss from your sweet lips
Will tell me that your love is real,
And I-I-I can feee-el that it's true.
We will vow to one another
There will never be another ::suppress laughter here::
Love-uv-uv for you-oo... or for me.

Young love, first love,
Fillllllled with true devotion.
Young love, our love,
We share with deeeeeep. Emotion.

Dum. Deedum. Deedum. Deedum..... ::fade out::

Another Senator Kennedy

Caroline Kennedy wants to be appointed by New York's governor to fill the senate seat soon to be vacated by new Secretary of State Hillary Clingon Clinton.

Mindful of the current selling of her idol Barack Obama's Illinois senate seat, she asked the New York governer, when she called him, to pretend she wasn't interested.

This blog would like to add its endorsement to the selection of JFK and Jackie's surviving offspring for the office. We feel her qualifications to be a U.S. Senator are far superior to anything the Democrats would normally require, to wit:

1. Her name is Kennedy.

2. She has sat on the board of the JFK Library.

3. She has presented the library's "Profiles in Courage" award.

4. Her name is Kennedy.

5. She spent the last year playing a crucial role* in Barack Obama's election campaign.

6. She has provided personal care** for Uncle Teddy during his recent illness.

7. Her name is Kennedy.

8. Her cousin, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has said she would be an ideal candidate.

9. She is a trained attorney who doesn't practice law.

10. Her name is Kennedy.

11. She has "dabbled in legal scholarship and New York civic life"*** while raising three children with her husband and a staff of nannies.

12. She reportedly knows the words to "Camelot" by heart.

13. Her name is Kennedy.

14. She is honorary chairwoman of the American Ballet Theatre.

15.  She has held a $1-per-year job within the New York City Department of Education, raising money for a private charity that supported public schools.****

16. Her name is Kennedy.

17. She has compared Obama to her father.*****

18. She has stood side-by-side with Oprah Winfrey in Los Angeles.

19. Her name is...

Well, by now you should be able to see what her real qualification is. Anybody want to bet on who the governor will appoint as New York's replacement senator?

*Caroline was told by her Uncle Teddy to endorse Obama last winter.

**Wiping drool and froth from his mouth.

***Whatever the fuck that means.

****But quit the job in the second year when she was told by family members that, "$1 a year isn't really that much money, Missy."

*****Yeah. Like she remembers her father.

"Let them eat cake." (Marie Antoinette, of the breadless peasants)

This post is not so much satire as it is astonishment and disbelief.

1. The "big three" American automakers, GM, Ford, and Chrysler, are in deep trouble. Have been for years, for many reasons.

2. Seeing the Wall Street bailout, they are trying to jump on the bandwagon and are asking congress for $25 billion. Just because. Loss of jobs, and ancillary domino effect, you know.

3. They came to Washington yesterday (Tuesday) to testify before Congress on why they should get this money. All three CEOs were there, sitting side by side. Amazing. They each told Congress why they should get this bailout. Some of their points were valid. I assume they promised to be good stewards of this amazing amount of money if they get it. And they say they MUST get it.

So.... what is the astonishing and unbelievable part of this post? Other than the fact that they have been pissing away money like Niagara Falls for 50 years and mismanaging their businesses like a drunken sailor? Well...

1. They came to Congress crying "poor, poor", but they came in private jets. Individual private jets which are only one of several owned by their companies for their (and their families') convenience. They couldn't fly commercial, not even first class. And, God forbid, they couldn't drive one of the cars they make. 

All of these companies have been losing lots of dollars. Billions and billions of dollars. In return for this feat of losing money, each of these CEOs receives compensation of many millions of dollars each. Like in the neighborhood of $20 million a year. Just as a "thank you" for being such a bad manager.

4. We could BUY GM -  the whole company - lock stock and barrel - five times over for the same money we would be "lending" the "big three."  - $25 billion. Or so I've read. But who in their right mind would want to buy a company that is constantly on the verge of bankruptcy, and hasn't seen a profit in most of the current generation's lifetime?

Your Congress is at work. Be very afraid. Let's hope even these dead-brains won't loan these guys taxpayer money. Spend it on job retraining instead, please.

Oh, Please! PLEASE let us stay in Iraq! We'll do ANYTHING!

I see in the news today that Iraq is close to approving a pact which will allow the U.S. to stay in Iraq through 2011. Apparently they will let us stay if we agree not to have troops in the cities. We will still be free to die outside the cities. So that's cool.

Question: why  are we (the U.S. Government in the person of George W. Bush) fighting so hard to get this "agreement" approved? If  they don't sign it, then we come home at the end of this year. What is so bad about that?

At the very least, we shouldn't take action until our new president takes office. He may have less interest in staying in Iraq at all. Just let the current one expire and stop fighting except in self defense for a few weeks. It is possible that in the short interim, the Iraqi government may decide it is a good idea for America to stay and let them stay alive for awhile. I don't think we should, though.

In my opinion, this has long since turned into another Vietnam. If even the Iraqi government has to have it's arm twisted to "let" us stay, then why stay? I think we just screwed up a perfect chance to come home and let them fight it out themselves. Plus we also had to agree to let Iraq try our troops in their courts. I don't like that because it is still a war zone where civilians are getting killed by accident every day.

Welcome Aboard!

President-elect B.H. Obama, wasting no time in the face of the economic crisis, today selected as his new Secretary of the Treasury, the genial Bob Cratchit.

Rather than choosing someone who is good at handling money, the President-Elect said he "went with my heart on this one" and chose someone from the ranks of the common folk, his primary political base.

"I thought it was more important to send a message, to the people who voted for me, and to the misguided right, as well as to the rest of the world, both friends and foe alike, all of whom I will soon be speaking with on a personal one-on-one basis, just to get to know their special interests, that my administration will be a grass-roots operation from the top down, or the bottom up, just as I promised; or if I didn't promise that, it could be assumed by one and all that is surely what I meant."

Mr. Obama went on to say (we think) that he decided against choosing a person with banking experience, or even executive experience, because those kinds of people have often failed us in the past, and mostly are Republicans anyway.

The returned clothes fund of Sara Palin will be used to outfit Mr. Cratchit.

Good luck Bob Cratchit, and to all the assorted little Cratchits!