Friday, December 12, 2008

Another Senator Kennedy

Caroline Kennedy wants to be appointed by New York's governor to fill the senate seat soon to be vacated by new Secretary of State Hillary Clingon Clinton.

Mindful of the current selling of her idol Barack Obama's Illinois senate seat, she asked the New York governer, when she called him, to pretend she wasn't interested.

This blog would like to add its endorsement to the selection of JFK and Jackie's surviving offspring for the office. We feel her qualifications to be a U.S. Senator are far superior to anything the Democrats would normally require, to wit:

1. Her name is Kennedy.
2. She has sat on the board of the JFK Library.
3. She has presented the library's "Profiles in Courage" award.
4. Her name is Kennedy.
5. She spent the last year playing a crucial role* in Barack Obama's election campaign.
6. She has provided personal care** for Uncle Teddy during his recent illness.
7. Her name is Kennedy.
8. Her cousin, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has said she would be an ideal candidate.
9. She is a trained attorney who doesn't practice law.
10. Her name is Kennedy.
11. She has "dabbled in legal scholarship and New York civic life"*** while raising three children with her husband and a staff of nannies.
12. She reportedly knows the words to "Camelot" by heart.
13. Her name is Kennedy.
14. She is honorary chairwoman of the American Ballet Theatre.
15.  She has held a $1-per-year job within the New York City Department of Education, raising money for a private charity that supported public schools.****
16. Her name is Kennedy.
17. She has compared Obama to her father.*****
18. She has stood side-by-side with Oprah Winfrey in Los Angeles.
19. Her name is...

Well, by now you should be able to see what her real qualification is. Anybody want to bet on who the governor will appoint as New York's replacement senator?

*Caroline was told by her Uncle Teddy to endorse Obama last winter.
**Wiping drool and froth from his mouth.
***Whatever the fuck that means.
****But quit the job in the second year when she was told by family members that, "$1 a year isn't really that much money, Missy."
*****Yeah. Like she remembers her father.


Sarge Charlie said...

Holy crap, he name is Kennedy. I hope she will not be like her uncle.

ettarose said...

Kind of the same thing as buying a seat isn't it? Oh and don't forget she is a Kennedy. Stupid son of a bitches!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i actually sort of like her. (did i say that? yikes!) her and her mother were the only two though... and of course, her name is...

smiles, bee

(now i have to go get on a ship!)

Relax Max said...

Sarge, nobody could be like her uncle. :) I really like your new avatar.

Ettarose, sort of. Except the money to the governor will come later instead of up front.

Hi Bee! I like her too. strangely enough. Doesn't mean she is qualified to be a senator. But then, if you start making them be qualified, you wouldn't have anybody, would you? I really like your new avatar. Heh. You guys are the greatest. :)

carol at A Second Cup said...

She has as much direct experience as
as Hilary when Hilary first ran.

Relax Max said...

Carol, so true. And at least as much experience as her uncle Teddy had when his seat was purchased for him. So touche. Maybe we DO have a House of Lords. :) Thank you for stopping by.

Kanani said...

She wrote a great book a few years ago on legal issues, court cases surrounding the issue of privacy. It was really very good. Have to hand it to her --she's really stayed out of the limelight for her entire life. She's been a steady scholar willing to delve into seemingly uninteresting topics. I'm not saying that any of this qualifies her to be a Senator, but frankly, she's at least as much as many who are currently in there now.

Relax Max said...

@Kanani - I hope you realize this is a political satrire post. (Mocking the establishment and how they show preferences, etc.) But you know what? - you are right. She has as much experience as a lot of those other ones. And I'm not so sure now that experience is all that good anyway because a lot of the old "experienced" ones are the worst senators. Maybe she will bring a fresh perspective and be different than the "good ol' boys." Let's hope so.

I'm not talking about her uncle Teddy. He's one of the all time great ones. (Umm...that's satire again, Kanani. :)