"So you really like that big Jew cock, huh baby?"

"So there was these two fags fuckin' an alligator down by the river, see..."

There was once a comedian by the name of Buddy Hackett. Dead now, of course. I don't remember Buddy myself, not in person anyway. But I saw a tape recently of an old Vegas show he did on HBO once, a zillion or so years ago, and I was literally rolling on the floor.

The only thing I knew about Buddy previous to that was that he had starred in some old Beach Blanket movies with Frankie Avalon and Annette that I had seen the reruns of. And Buddy seemed very tame. Pretty pathetic, in fact.

But his Vegas act was a killer. Christ!

That guy could tell more dirty jokes from memory, than I thought possible, one right after the other. They came at you so fast you didn't have time to recover through the entire show.

A lot were personal recollections of fuckings he had been involved with in his life. Hilarious. He could describe it so that you thought you were right there fucking right along with him.

Buddy said he was in the Army, stationed in England one time. And he was fucking this whore in an alley behind a pub, standing up against a dumpster, and he said her head kept bobbing up and down as he was fucking her, and he thought she was really getting into it, and Buddy was feeling all proud and shit, and so he started in fuck-talking her:

"So you really like that big Jew cock, huh, baby?"

"Yeah, luv. Nice cock you have alright."

"Makes your fuckin' head go crazy, huh?

"errrmm. No, luv. Just a bit o' me scarf tucked in is all..."

Buddy was crazy. Had the Vegas crowd on their knees on the carpet, holding their guts. Just the way he told the stories, not so much how funny they were.

His mind was weird, warped. "The highballs are on me", he screamed, as he told a story about a giraffe fucking an elephant. But it was the way Buddy would goose-step like a cornholed drum-major across the stage that sold the joke to the audience. Buddy walking like a giraffe.

Fuck. Fuck me, he was funny.