New Series: Henry The Traveling Condom

One of my biggest blogging idols is Olga The Traveling Bra. I truly revere Olga. In my mind, she is probably second only to Angelika. The latter goes without saying, of course: no one is really in Angelika's blogging class. So, in the regular NON-Angelika class of blogs, Olga is at the top of the list of my idols.

I fully realize that some of you are already trying to see a pattern here between Angelika and Olga (both are black) but there really is no connection. They are both simply brilliant bloggers with a fantastic and well-deserved following. That, and the fact that I like to mention their names on this blog frequently, for search-engine purposes. You understand.

I hasten to add that neither of these talented bloggers knows that Relax Max is in awe of them, or that they are both his idols, because l have always been too intimidated by their greatness to comment on their blogs. Also, I am not smart enough, usually, to understand their posts, so that is also a stumbling block to commenting.

Because Olga has no clue of my admiration for her (or no clue that I even exist, for that matter) it is not likly she will discover what I am doing here before it is too late. She almost surely doesn't know this blog exists. And, of course, it goes without saying that we will never see a blogger of the stature of the lovely Angelika mucking around down here in the dregs of the blogosphere.

What I started out to say here, before I slid into that incredibly embarrassing ass-kissing session outlined above, was that Olga has inspired a sort of parallel blogging character that I intend to (temporarily) bring to life in homage to Olga. I will call this character "Henry The Traveling Condom."

I envision Henry "traveling" (being mailed) to various people all over the world, and being befriended by these recipients. Henry's mission in life will be to promote camaraderie between peoples of all nations, as well as to encourage frequent, comradely, sex.

The qualifications for hosting Henry haven't been completely worked out yet, but the idea is the same (almost the same) as Olga: we will expect Henry to be flaunted in various public locations and to have plenty of pictures taken.

Of course the MAIN idea of this is - and you could expect no less from Relax Max - is to have each recipient wear Henry while they engage in sex in various parts of the world. No photos are to be taken of the actual qualifying event! Your signature on the provided affidavit will be more than satisfactory.

Then you will mail Henry back to Relax Max in the envelope provided. Wash him first.

It is as simple as that. We do, of course expect you to take photos before the actual qualifying event, of Henry being "posed" on various public objects, such as statues and landmarks. Pictures of Henry on your finger or rolled onto bicycle handlebars would probably also be amusing. Be extra careful with sharp objects!

We have already lined up our first two participants: one in Texas, and one in Belgium.

Please check back here periodically for photos and updates. Please don't wait too long to check back as there is some concern as to how long Henry will actually hold up. Thank you.

The point? Man, I dunno. Does there have to be a point? What's the point of Olga? It's fun, that's all. Fuck your point.

Official U.S. FDA Disclaimer: "Putting a used condom on your dick, which has recently been used by a stranger, and which probably has holes in it, and which may or may not have even been washed out, is NOT conducive to safe sex."